Our book group choice for July 2013 is What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver. This is the second Carver book LBG has read, having read Will You Please Be Quiet, Please? in January 2010.
The story takes place on a hot summer afternoon in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Two couples, Mel and Terri, and Nick and Laura, are sitting around Mel’s kitchen table drinking gin. They begin to talk about love, and the conversation quickly becomes heated.
Mel, a cardiologist, believes that love is spiritual in nature. He says that he used to be in the seminary, and that he believes love is a gift from God. Terri, on the other hand, has a more cynical view of love. She tells the story of her ex-boyfriend, Ed, who used to beat her while telling her that he loved her. She says that she doesn’t believe that Ed’s violence was an expression of love, but rather a sign of his own psychological problems.
The conversation then turns to the nature of “real love.” Mel says that he knows what real love is because he feels it for Terri. Nick and Laura agree that they love each other, but they both admit that they have loved other people before. They also talk about how their relationships have changed over time.
As the conversation progresses, it becomes clear that the four friends are all struggling to understand the meaning of love. They all have different experiences with love, and they all have different ideas about what it means to be in love. However, they are all united by their desire to find love and to understand what it is.
The story ends with the four friends still talking about love. They have not come to any definitive answers, but they have at least begun to explore the complex and contradictory nature of this emotion.
In addition to the theme of love, the story also explores other themes such as marriage, loss, and the passage of time. The four friends are all at different stages in their lives, and they are all grappling with the challenges and uncertainties of love and relationships. The story is a moving and insightful exploration of the human heart, and it offers no easy answers.
Here are some additional thoughts on the story:
- The story is told in a spare and understated style that is typical of Carver’s work. The dialogue is natural and realistic, and the characters are complex and believable.
- The story is set in a specific time and place, but it also has universal appeal. The themes of love, loss, and the passage of time are all relevant to people of all ages and backgrounds.
- The story is ultimately hopeful, even though it does not offer any easy answers. The four friends are all searching for love, and they are all willing to risk their hearts in the process.
Discussion Questions
- Did you like the collection?
- Is there a story you particularly liked and why did you like it?
- How did it compare to the other collections you may have read? What about Carver’s previous offering, Will you please be quiet, please?
- What do you think about the title of the collection? Is it appropriate, is love a theme that links all the stories? Or is it ironic considering the seemingly unromantic nature of the stories?
- What do you think about the style? Is the minimalism overdone bearing in mind that the editor significantly cut down the word count?
- Were there any stories that just didn’t work for you, or seemed inexplicable?
Individual Ratings
DKB's Rating 
John's Rating
EmmaJ's Rating
Sue's Rating
Catherine's Rating
Baljit's Rating 
Anthony's Rating